monkey with a typewriter

2003-02-17T20:51:00.000+10:00

This page has moved, because blogger hates my guts. Fuck you too, blogger.

the new monkey with a typwriter

2003-01-23T22:37:00.000+10:00

Talk 'n Jot
i hate:

BLOGGER

AOL

skanks

Pop music

"Fashion"

YOU. YES, YOU. I HATE YOU. So there.

closure

2003-01-23T22:36:00.000+10:00

Talk 'n Jot
"Gog", a replacement for "God".

Originally a typo, this word acquired it's full meaning when I realised it was too cool a word to forget. Hence I made it an ancronym for " Genderless Omnipotent Goober". It owes in parts its creation to Jenny, for being a poor typist, and Dee, because I ripped off her idea, "DOUG".

I've decided, due to some conversations with Mike, that closure is essential to all situations. Hence, instead of ending posts with "ciao" as I once did, I will end them merely with "closure".

closure

2003-01-23T22:18:00.000+10:00

I have a bad feeling this won't work. Fuck you blogger, fuck you all.

2003-01-08T22:54:00.000+10:00

OH my. I feel ever so inferior now. I have read Jenny's blog, which is so Fucking funny, my lungs hurt from laughing. Much better than mine. You suck jenny. :P

>INSERT WITTY BLOG ENTRY HERE<

nope, not happening. *cries*

2003-01-03T22:40:00.000+10:00

I'm BAAAACK!! I seem to have a very bad habit of posting severla times in one night and then not posting at all for several weeks. Sorry figments.
But you see, I just HAD to post again, because I just had to write about that entirely piece of cinema, The Two Towers. *drools at the memory* Far be it for me to spoil the movie for others, but I must say, don't put off seeing it, you have to see it at least once on the big screen. mmmmmm, larger than life Legolas..... And the CGI on Gollum is fucking amazing. In fact, they pulled off Gollum so much better than I could have imagined. Fucking amazing. And did I mention Legolas? Just go and see it. You know you want to.

Also, if you're a fan of Bond, make sure you see the latest in cinemas. Surround sound is a must to fully enjoy this film.

okay, I'm done
ciao!

2003-01-03T22:25:00.000+10:00

I give up. I just fucking give up.

Sometimes, things just get to the point where you have to ask yourself whether it's worth perservering, or if it's time to just fucking give up.

And this is one of those times where the latter is the case. I suppose I should feel sad, but all I feel is slighlty annoyed. Perhaps when the annoyance wears off I'll feel sad.

But I doubt it.

(i love posting cryptic messages)
ciao!

2002-12-14T00:18:00.000+10:00

Ihay inkthay I'llhay itewray isthay entirehay ostpay inhay igpay atinlay. Eedlessnay ootay aysay, isthay illway ebay ahay eryvay ortshay ostpay.

iaocay

2002-12-13T23:50:00.000+10:00

*celebrates the success of template-fucking* Go me!

My brother got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City today. it's pretty mad, but it's SOOOO eighties. but it's worth the shocking colours/hair/"fashion/music, just to get to drive around on a motorbike. So cool.

2002-12-13T23:16:00.000+10:00

*Raises glass of bubbly* Here's to my blog not sucking as much as Mike's!

*mocks mike's blog*

*mocks mikey*

*giggles as bubbly has gone straight to my head*

^hic^ ciao!

2002-12-04T20:35:00.000+10:00

You know, maybe it's not even that. But even if it is a fascination, it's hardly the only one. Oh my gosh! I'm a fascination slut! *weeps* I feel so...... Dirty..... :D

I'm on holidays now. Ahhh, time to let my brain rot into a moldy furry grey mass within my skull. I love the holidays. *starts to hum the captain vegetable song*

*ponders*

more at some point somewhere in the future.

ciao

2002-11-20T21:41:00.000+10:00

It's not a FIXATION, it's a FASCINATION, ok? Not that it matters, because I think I scared him off. *grins* oopsies. And then I went accursedly shy, so essentially, I think I'm screwed. I reiterate, OOPS. :P

ciao

2002-11-20T21:33:00.000+10:00

I am my sister. And apparently, so is my sister. Go figure.

2002-11-20T21:32:00.000+10:00

It wasn't that bad. I over-reacted. go me!

2002-11-14T19:49:00.000+10:00

An argument.
A big long argument.
A friendship-ending-forever argument.

*sighs* i need a hug.

2002-11-05T20:17:00.000+10:00

Oh the joys of convo! HAd an excellent (long) discussion with Erin tonight. Twas very cool. Life is so good. Lol, somethings going to happen soon to screw it all up, but I don't care at the moment. I'm just going to revel in being happy. :D

2002-11-04T22:15:00.000+10:00

Folks, the world has gone mad. I'm still in a good mood! tongiht has been mad fun too! I had a cool argument with a bible basher, spammed some message boards with black humour and was just generally silly. I won the argument too. Life is good.

i was going to write more, but i forgot it all. :)

ciao!

2002-11-03T22:09:00.000+10:00

this = cool website. go here.

2002-11-03T20:34:00.000+10:00

It's so stinking hot tonight! i had NO hope of getting to sleep. *cries* I'm so glad I quit work. Yesterday I did a five hour shift, my last ever, and didn't get my break until twenty minutes before i was supposed to finish. and then of course, supervisor incompetence and busyness led to me finishing almost 20 minutes late. I reiterate, I hate work. I am SO glad I quit.
i should stop wasting webspace. NOW.

Note to two certain males who won't even read this. (lol) hurt my friends, and you will die. :) have a nice day!

lol.
ciao!

2002-11-03T00:25:00.000+10:00

and THIS is today
Halloween Party equals much rockingness. MY GOD IT ROCKED!!! And yes, i'm still high from it. I still want to be there!! It was the best party EVER! but most previous parties in my experience have been slightly dodge, so it doesn't have much competition... The party consisted of:
- small amounts of liqour
- lots of pants dropping
- NO shirtless brazillian males. :(
- much talk and sexual innuendo
- much hugs
- FUCKLOADS OF FUN!!!
- jaw-dropping revelation

And I've decided I like Ross SOOO much more when he's tipsy. lol. I WISH I WAS STILL THERE! :D oh well. not much we can do.

ALL DONE!!!
CIAO!

2002-11-03T00:18:00.000+10:00

so this is yesterday

So, apparently I'm oin ablogging mood tonight. Either that or I'm so bored shitless i'll do anything for entertainment. It could also be a combination of both. REgardless of the reason, I AM blogging, for once, but don't be tricked into thinking i have anything worthwhile to say. I don't. Just a whole bunch of crap. But I'll say it anyway.

First I'll write about the +inferior+ complicated situation. I believe the message has been sent enough times for me to accept the fact that we were not meant to be friends. It seems it's entirely impossible for us to carry out a civil conversation. Not that this upsets me greatly, but it could be a bit of an issue seeing as we have to do a group assessment together. Yeah. Which I'm going to have to shelve my bitchiness and TRy to be nice. Wish me luck.

Next topic on today's agenda, is "crushlessness; fact or fiction?" So tell me, do I have a crush (or whatever the "mature" word for crush is) on anyone? I'm not so sure... Stay tuned for the next episode...

Inspiration struck today. Luckily, I was wearing body armour. Oh my that was lame. I offer a sacrifice to the gods of humour, asking for forgivness for lame joke I have a basic idea for the script I MIGHT be writing for drama. So yeah. That was cool.

2002-10-15T21:07:00.000+10:00

If I had anything interesting to say, I guess I'd be saying it right now.

But I don't.

I think that's all for now.

ciao

2002-10-13T20:28:00.000+10:00

beach = MY PATCH
Just so y'all know.

In related news, I am now seventeen, which doesn't feel any different to sixteen, because for the past six months I've been saying I was 17 anyway. April next year I start saying I'm nearly eighteen.
Meanwhile, I celebrated my official seventeeness with a beach party at the bestest beach in existence. (Which just so happens to belong to ME, not Mitch.) T'was overall very mad, especially the four-ish hours spent sitting in a hole on the beach in the middle of the night, with seven of the oddest people I've ever known. Other highlights included; Erin and I breaking the all-night talking record (6am), the renaming of Sam as "Tripod" and suggestively shaped balloons.
Don't even ask......

thats pretty much it,

ciao

2002-10-06T01:40:00.000+10:00

*DANCES*
Oh my ego is feeling goooooood! It just had a nice massage by way of replies to that poem I mentioned last post. I put it up on a certain site site I frequent called In The Light. The replies were just so.... I don't know, cool for want of a better word. They made me feel really good. YAY!

I'm going to try and install a comments thingy. Wish me luck figments!

ciao

2002-10-03T02:01:00.000+10:00

Wrote a "poem" tonight. My poetry is mediocre at best. This was not my best.

Got a digital camera today. Kicks ass.

Came back from beach also. Bad.

Writing disjointed and crappy. Did you notice?

Not that different I suppose.

I wish I could write wittily. Oh well.

I am the tin man. "if i only had a brain......."

2002-09-29T21:07:00.000+10:00

And in breaking news.....

Phone not dead, merely upside-down
Today I dropped my phone for the zillionth time. It's already falling apart, and it smashed into a million pieces on the bathroom floor. (Okay, well, 5 pieces). So I picked it up, put it back together, and then tried to turn it on again. It wouldn't, so I went off to work without it, thinking it was broked forever *cries*. When I got home, I pulled the cover off, and realised that in my haste, I had put the battery in upside-down. *smacks forehead*. Needless to say, it works again. I am a doofus.

Faith in humanity restored
Today, a very nice customer thanked me and complemented me for my bag packing. My misnathropy almmost dissappeared. And then the next customer came along. Yeah..

that's all for now, maybe more later.

ciao

2002-09-23T21:44:00.000+10:00

Life can kiss my ass.

Not that the above statement bears any relevance to the the rest of this post, or even to my mood at all, I just felt the compulsion to say it.

My day was virtually ideal, i.e. i spent lots of money and had lots of money spent on me. Purchased: Uber-spiffy pin-stripe jeans, cool brown skirt, chinese lanterny things for my party, a flying fox soft toy, my sister's christmas present, a ring, a toe ring and some other stuff that i can't remember. Oh, and Io bought a mad label-maker thingy. I labelled the cat. And the wall. :D

Maths exam tomorrow. Yay. Watch me care. Seriously.

Fanfiction.net sucks. Just so you know. I wonder how many more random statements I can fit into this post?

Actually, none. That's all.
ciao

2002-09-22T20:54:00.000+10:00

Yeah, yeah, I know I don't post enough. Bite me. Blah blah blah. Does anyone even read this anymore? Probably not. There isn't much to read.This is where I say something witty and amusing. Or not.

I've been sucking muchly when it comes to writing lately. I haven't written anything vaguely resembling a poem in months, and i'm in one of my all-too-familiar ruts where my third person writing is rigid and annoying. I've had lots of ideas lately, for a couple of novels and even a play. They're a bit stagnant at the moment. I think i'll blame school. Damn school and all its damn school work. Yeah.

Work sucks. Speaking of work and all things career-ish, I'm thinking of joining the army. Not like, the infantry of anything like that. I dun think I'll even get a gun *cries*. If I did join, it would be in the Nursing Corps. Advantages as I see them:
1. No HECS debt.
2. $25k to study in third year of course.
3. Subsidised board and stuff.
4. Spiffy uniform, (with the exception of the full-on dress uniform).
5. Cute guys in spiffy uniform.
6. Cute guys not in spiffy uniform (hey, I'll be a nurse you know, routine medical checks. ;) )
7. Opportunities to travel.
8. Convenient excuse to move out of home.
9. I get to be a lieutenant. (pronounced "left-tenant", for all you illiterate yankee scum)
Disadvantages, as I see them.
1. Six years service. (although I dun have much of a problem with this to be honest)
2. Possibility of going to war. (This I feel I could also deal with most likely, as I would be helping people, not harming them)
3. I was planning to go into midwifery. (If I go into the army, this will put that off for a bit, but only a couple of years)
4. I'm not really a fan of khaki. It doesn't go too well with my complexion.

So, all up, it seems pretty good to me. But nothing's concrete at the moment. We'll see.

Okay, I'm all done rambling now. Ciao!

2002-09-07T00:32:00.000+10:00

Funny how ordinary words can suddenly become rather, well, dirty when uttered by my friends.

2002-09-06T23:18:00.000+10:00

Quotes from this week: (much funnier naked of their rightful context)

"I'd hate to be your wife Jared. You'd be so hard to sleep with," Said by a male. Do you even WANT to know the context?

"They're all undressing me with their eyes! Oh, hi mum."

And of course, one can't forget my favourite line from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead:

"He slipped in"

MOre later, honest. I will post more. really. well, probably.

2002-08-07T18:46:00.000+10:00

And Mitch thinks he gets scary spam. Something from my junk mail box:

From :
Elmo

To :
evil_pyro_fairy@hotmail.com

Subject :
Claim Your Free Elmo

Date :
7 Aug 2002 00:35:41 -0700

Not only does elmo fuck up my computer, he clogs my hotmail account. I say we lynch him.

2002-08-05T21:58:00.000+10:00

Life is good. Cue; paranoia

2002-07-25T23:11:00.000+10:00

"there is a decided difference in your tempers I allow. He is lively, you are serious; but so much the better; his spirits will support your's. It is your disposition to be easily dejected, and to fancy difficulties greater than they are. His cheerfulness will counteract this. He sees difficulties no where; and his pleasantness and gaiety will be a constant support to you. Your being so far unlike, Fanny, does not in the smallest degree make against the probability of your happiness together: do not imagine it. I am myself convinced that it is rather a favourable circumstance. I am perfectly persuaded that the tempers had better be unlike; I mean unlike in the flow of spirits, in the manners, in the inclination for much or litlle company, in the propensity to talk or be silent, to be grave or to be gay."

Mansfield Park, Jane Austen

2002-07-23T22:12:00.000+10:00

I am back at school. Words cannot describe how much this vexes me. Incidentally, all forms of the word 'vex' are my Words of the Week. I find it to be a very satisfactory word, and far more ladylike than "pissed off". And, just in case you haven't noticed, I have been spending far too much of my time reading a Jane Austen novel.
I can think of little else to say, hence I shall conclude.

ciao

2002-07-21T00:37:00.000+10:00

Lacking a mind of your own? Finding it hard to decide what to do with your meaningless, empty life? let Prettygirl tell you.

2002-07-18T19:59:00.000+10:00

Heya.
I can't believe the hols are nearly over. they're nevr long enough. *grumumbles*. I need more sleep. i feel like, no matter how much sleep i get, i'll always need more. *makes big show of yawning*

i think i'm going to try to bitch less. lol. wish me luck. i shall most definately need it.
i probably can't do it. being a bitch is such second nature to me. lol

i don't know why anyone would bother to read this shit. i'm sooo boring! it's been so long since i had anything to say.what a waste of webspace.

i went to disney on ice last night. the company was more amusing than the show, as i sat next to my friend jenny, and we heckled, and complained loudly at the decided lack of sleeping beauty. and there wasn't any tinkerbell either. so, justifiably, we were obnoxious, and made nasty comments all through. (while we weren't sining along ) *blushes* excpet for "it's a small world" we spent THAT wailing in despair and cursing. i'm pretty sure at some points in the night, the lady next to us covered her toddler's ears. lol, oops.
i then went to furnona's house, and scared a few of her friends over messenger, and then we watched ten things i hate about you. i've seen it several times before, but i still like it. after that, i managed to wake fiona and jenny up several times by coughing in the middle of the night. (apparently i apologised after every cough though. lol)
today, fiona had a "party" which consisted of a few of her william clarke friends/skanks coming over to her house, playing pool, eating junkfood and listening to piss rock. jenny and i were anti-social, giving perfect deathlooks to the assortment of freaks. fiona's new friends are a pretty sorry lot, with the excpetion of Addy. she's okay.

anyways, i seem to have filled up quite a lot of space with that crap. *looks smug*

i might add some more stuff later.
ciao for now

2002-07-13T20:19:00.000+10:00

It's been a really long time since I posted anything interesting. (if ever)

Tonight probably won't be any different. I'm so tired. I worked from 0730 till 1600. grrness.

more later? we shall see.

2002-07-07T22:14:00.000+10:00

Well, I'm to Melbourne in the morrow, which means no posts for 4 days. Not that that's an odd occurence for this blog. I don't really have that much to say.
Guess I'll be going now. I have to get up indecently early in the morning.

ciao

2002-07-02T23:59:00.000+10:00

I don't want to go to bed tonight either. I'm not that tired, and I have too much on my mind.....

2002-07-02T23:37:00.000+10:00

"I said what you wanted to hear, and what I wanted to say, so I will take it back." Selfless, Cold and Composed ben folds five

Stayed up till after four last night, aimlessly wandering the net. I like sleep as much as the next person, maybe more, but some invisible force kept me glued to the screen. It was most likely the fact that, as soon as I went to bed, I'd start thinking. I guess I wanted to delay that for as long as possible.

But I went to bed eventually, and once there sat up for even longer, writing random thoughts down on paper. None of them are particularly interesting, so I won't bother typing them up.

I'm thinking about moving this blog, so I can be more selective in who reads it. But it's too much effort, so for the moment it stays where it is, and if anyone has a problem with something I say, they can either tell me about it, or get fucked. My webspace, my freedom of speech, deal.

I really feel like bitching, but I shall refrain. I'm trying to cut down, you see.

...

Question of the day: Should I feel guilty about not being able to forgive someone?

2002-07-01T23:25:00.000+10:00

I feel like writing a really long post tonight.

I don't feel like talking.

I've been crying, maybe I need more sleep. Definately need a hug.

Don't want to answer questions.

Want to curl up, go to sleep. Not wake up.

(but just for jen, mm sorta)

2002-06-30T22:54:00.000+10:00

My family has gone mad. My mother is being calm AND rational, and my supposedly cynical sister has taken to giggling in a big way. What next? The cat barking? I would not be surprised.

Blah. Maybe more later.

ciao

2002-06-29T23:42:00.000+10:00

Saw spiderman this evening. Twas.... interesting. Not exactly blog-worthy though.

ho-hum.

*sighs*

Parents are yelling at eachother, I'm bored, and very......... unsatisfied. And did I mention bored?

2002-06-24T22:37:00.000+10:00

I believe I have been relegated to the status of "succubus". How very flattering. And I think I've persuaded Mitch not to clean off the slate too. I seem to have annoyed the boy by speaking my mind, in my blog. How dare I.

Of course, I must note that contrary to popular belief, I do not set out to insult or injure anyone verbally. Generally speaking, though, I tend to react rather strongly to being patronised and offended. Probably too strongly, and occasionally my comments come out harsher than I intend for them to be. Taking this in mind, I accept most of the blame for the argument between horwood and myself, but I have to say, I was provoked. (not that that entirely justifies my response, but hey.)

One final thing, please do not mistake the above for an excuse or an apology. It is merely an explanation.

2002-06-22T23:48:00.000+10:00

you really don't know me.
i think that's what pisses me off the most, that you painted your own, fucked up little picture of me in that warped head of yours, and then acted like you picture was the real me, and if i wasn't true to your picture, i wasn't being myself.
have you realised now, that you have no fucking clue? i'm assuming you haven't. i can't imagine you'd actually stop to think about who i actually am. few people do. perhaps i'm not worth the effort.
just so you know:
• i am entirely aware that i am fallible, as much as anyone, probably more
• i'm aware that i'm a bitch, and that i'm stupid
• i'm often wrong, and even, occasionally, admit to it.
• i am not hurt by people who don't mean anything to me.

here ends the post.

2002-06-21T22:46:00.000+10:00

Partial list of pet hates
• being patronised, (especially when it takes the form of people pretending to know me better than they do)
• having my emotions trivialised
• indecisiveness in other people
• lack of imagination in other people
• bigots
• unfounded arrogance.
• eftpos machines
• empty compliments
• being lied to

this is only a partial list. and to carry on the list-making thing, i present you with;
things that maybe should piss me off but don't
• stubbornness. i don't see anything too much wrong with it actually.
• bitchyness. i couldn't be THAT hypocritical
• mikey's cheerfulness. (although it does piss me off sometimes :P )
• being called names, told that i'm ugly, stupid etc etc. can't say i care anymore.
• people being pissed off at me. whatever

I was angry last night. And though I may be quick to anger, I am not, however quick to become calm again. Hell, I'm still pissed off, nearly twenty-four hours later. *growls* I suppose I need resolution. Or at least to bash the living crap out of something.

2002-06-19T22:36:00.000+10:00

Someone, please remind me that I shouldn't care. Dammit.

And, no, there will be no justification for that comment.

2002-06-18T21:32:00.000+10:00

After a largely uneventful day, I have decided I shall retire to bed early this evening, to enjoy some much-needed sleep, and my brand new sheets.
I'm too lazy to write anything else.
ciao

2002-06-16T22:39:00.000+10:00

Dodgy post tonight. Feeling like shit personified. Tired, bad mood, compulsion to whinge growing very strong. MUST..... RESIST...
I need sleep, and a hug. :'(
*yawns and rubs eyes sleepily*
ciao

2002-06-14T19:56:00.000+10:00

Having never been one to resist an online test, I present you with my results to the personality disorder test
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Intergessen.

2002-06-12T20:07:00.000+10:00

been a while since i last posted. i've been weird, very weird. (cue eerie music)
but its all good. i'm just confused, confusing, contradictory, the usual. nothing to worry about. I've been thinking too much lately, maybe not enough, haven;t figured anything out yet. Been sleeping too much, maybe not enough, still tired. I discovered last night that "californication" is a bad album to fall asleep to. Great album, but not while one is attempting to snooze. Tossed and turned all night, half choking on my earphone cord, somehow unable to find the stop button on the minidisc remote. Also recently discovered, I really prefer sleeping on my left side. Wish I'd discovered that BEFORE i got my left ear pierced up the top.
Just realised how incoherent this must be. Who stole my grammar? Dammit, if my grammar isn't back here in the next ten seconds, someone will be shot.
What a waste of webspace this post has been. Blech.

song: Army, ben folds five.
mood: nyeh
fuck the list.

ciao

2002-06-08T23:26:00.000+10:00

i think i watch too many movies. and no, i'm not going to justify that comment. i have a lot to say, but i'm not in the right sorta mood to say it. hmmm.

song: in the end, linkin park. doesn't sum up my mood, it's just that a few of the lines from it keep circling in my mind
mood: tired, lazy, cold, with a slight touch of confusion. oh, and vague.
list: mmm. maybe tomorrow. too lazy today

2002-06-07T23:08:00.000+10:00

*scowls* I will make all those who weren't online tonight pay. Especially Mikey. *scowls once more*. Maybe just Mikey. fucknut. Lol. Just kidding. Wish there was someone online to talk to though. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed convo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-06-06T23:10:00.000+10:00

I'm like, some sort of webpage nut at the moment or something. Aside from successfully adding stuff to this blog template, I have created another blog as an "about me" page, (yet to be written in), and have started a whole new website as an archive for my poems and stuff. It's still pretty much empty, but I'll keep working on it. I probably won't let many people view it though. Not sure yet. My poems are one of those things I don't share readily, same as I don't sing in public.
As I get older, I seem to be getting more phobias. When I was little, (about five or thereabouts), I wasn't afraid of anything. I loved heights, hell, I used to climb up our dangerously rickety, storey-high wooden ladder, just for the fun of it. Nowadays I get petrified of climbling a sturdy ladder even half that height. Also, I used to love public speaking and the like. I was little miss uber-confidence. Heh. And now.... Let's just say there are few things I hate more. There are so many things I used to be able to do when I was younger, but can't now. I just keep getting wussier. :D (But at least I don't drink with straws)

For the record, I must state that I hate current affairs programs with the passion of ten thousand hellfires. SCUM. They are below tabloids in their filthyness. And I pity the poor fool who watches them, and embraces the crap they pollute our tvs with. *hisses*

Have any of you figments noticed how decidedly random my blog is tonight? I guess it's just an indication of my state of mind. Very inconsistent, and unable to keep one train of thought for more than a few moments. I'm a bit of a ditz at the moment.

For some strange reason, I'm using capital letters in this post, and more grammar than usual. I wonder what on earth has possessed me to do such a radical thing. Some strange typing daemon I suppose. Probably a cousin of the one that makes me type so terribly in messenger conversations. (sounds like a good excuse to me)

Sometimes I think I could just talk forever. With some people, it seems like we'd never run out of topics of discussion, and when the conversation ends, I'm left thinking of things to mention in our next conversation. (which I invariably forget by the time we next speak). But with some people, the conversations are punctuated by long, empty silences, where neither of us feels like talking. I know it's silly to judge a friendship by how much you talk, but I think I do sometimes. Silence may be golden, but it's never really seemed that way to me, I always like having noise to fill the void. I'm addicted to sound, I can't live without it. I hope I never go deaf. :D
Some people think silence is peaceful, but I just think it's empty.
On the same note though, I despise small talk in almost all circumstances. I guess that's a bit contradictory. Oh well. I'm allowed to be contradictory. Because I said so.

Hmmm. Despite that I have a great deal more to say, I shall end the post here, partly due to parental nagging, but mostly due to my extreme laziness.

ciao

2002-06-05T22:27:00.000+10:00

worked!

2002-06-05T21:48:00.000+10:00

i hope these damn template changes work. evil computers.

2002-06-05T18:38:00.000+10:00

cue: apathy

i'm tired. i'm so not caring at the moment. i need sleep. muchly need sleep. soo tired. serious scowling required. nyeh.

anyways.
just so u all know, the line is, "Nein, das ist mein hamburger".

song: otherside, chilli peppers
mood: *growls ever so slightly*
list: partial list (whole list is too long) of ways which i and mikey differ.
1. he's nice (i'm a total bitch)
2. he's intellegent (i'm definately not)
3. i try to use grammar, vaguely that is. :P
4. i prefer writing under exam conditions
5. he's naiive. (not in a bad way though)
6. he's optimistic (honest, i'm not a pessimist!)
7. he's cheerful
dude, i could go on forever. i shall summarise by saying we are polar opposites. but thats okay. i don't think i trust people who are too much like me.
anyways, more later maybe.

2002-06-04T19:21:00.000+10:00

I am 85% similar, and 86% complementary to my sister. How erm, fascinating.

2002-06-02T21:37:00.000+10:00

ello.
the deb was last night. it was umm... eventful. my mood sorta fluctuated. a lot. absolutely great, fuckin awful, pretty good. i think i have some sort of disease that makes me get depressed whenever there's happy music and dancing happening. but overall i really enjoyed the evening, and it made me realise i have a really great bunch of friends. i'd like to especially thank mikey, mitchel w and evan for being such gentlemen and tryin to cheer me up. u guys rock. (and they look good in tuxes too.) lol.

i believe i have been cured of the so-called "crush-bug". it wasn't even a proper crush anyways. i guess i won't have to be mentioned in the same sentence with ross anymore. which will undoubtably be a huge relief to him. :(

anyways, i can't think of much else to say, that i could be bothered typing, so i'll go now.
ciao

2002-05-31T22:36:00.001+10:00

bah.
i am cold. not one of my contacts is online. either that or they are all blocking me. which really wouldn't surprise me. *scowls*
i'm not in a good mood. asparagus is a bitch. asparagus can go to hell. hmf u can all go to hell. i just don't want to know.

and now, i might actually start being coherent. or at least try.

i felt so.... in need of a hug today. still do. i just feel like a nice warm hug. i'm tired and cold, and maybe even lonely. that, in itself, is strange. oh, not that i'm lonely, that happens often enough. but it's unusual for me to feel lonely when i'm alone. does that sound strange? maybe it is. but it's true. almost all the occasions i feel lonely, occur when there are other people around. and i feel lonelier around friends and family than i do with a crowd of strangers. and rarely when i'm home alone do i feel lonely. but tonight, i just don't feel like being by myself. i want a hug. :(

meanwhile, we got a drama assessment today. group work. surprisingly, i'm really looking forward to it. which in a way is lucky, considering i shall have to get a good mark in it to even PASS this year in drama. meh. i'll try.

song: one down, ben folds
mood: cold. unhugged.
list: what i want to be when i grow up
happy. (dah)
married, in love etc (as if)
a mother eventually
a midwife
un-poor
beautiful

i'm a simple creature really.
ciao

2002-05-31T22:36:00.000+10:00

2002-05-30T22:29:00.000+10:00

hmm. i have two options for the course of this blog.
1. bitch about school
2. find something non-bitchy to say
i think i'll go for the latter.

umm

the deb ball is the day after tomorrow. i'm looking forward to it. i'm determined to have fun. after all, it can't be worse than my year ten formal.

i need to figure out how to put stuff in the margin of this blog. bah. is far too computery for me. damn computers. hmm. live i ishall.

even double spacing isn't going to make this post seem big. i guess i'm just not bloggative today. ever had that feeling like there's something you could/should say, but you don't know what? damn i hate that. it's one of the many banes of my existence.

i can't think of anything else to say. maybe i'll write more tomorrow.

2002-05-27T21:31:00.000+10:00

hair: slightly curly, very dark, out but covered partially by a headscarf
eyes: framed by VERY thick black lashes
lips: bright red
dress: black, flattering and off the shoulders, accented with a red shawl tied about my hips
earrings: big silver hoops

question: was i dressing up as a gypsy or as my sister jennifer?

2002-05-27T17:28:00.000+10:00

those of you who were brought up on playschool will surely remember the book "there's a hippopottomaus on our roof eating cake". i'm thinking writing a sequel based on my own house, entitled; "there's a couple of lard-arse possums on my roof playing catch-and-kiss". doesn't have quite the same ring to it though, does it?

2002-05-26T20:01:00.000+10:00

mood: inexplicably good
song: fair, ben folds five. (been listening to them a lot lately)
list: see prevoius list of why i'm going to fail all of my exams. oh well!!

i don't think i'm developing a crush, or anything of the sort. sall good. as i've said before, (i think), time will tell. hmm.
anyways, i'm going to work on my other site

ciao

2002-05-25T14:08:00.000+10:00

greebilness.

mood: hmm. can't succintly express that right now.
song: end of the line, offspring.
list: reasons why i should NOT be developing a crush.
1. crushes are stupid, and soooooo year eight.
2. he wouldn't like me anyway

well, to jump to a completely different topic, something mildly surreal just happened. A certain person, who incidentally has read my blog, just sent me a message saying "*laughter* you have no fucking idea do you? coward..." and then left. curious. can't say that i actually give a shit about his opinion, but i am curious as to what he's referring to. oh well. he's just a little prick anyway, and i've wasted far too much energy on him already, even in writing these few lines.

i feel like i have more things to say, but i can't think of them at the moment. oh well.

2002-05-23T22:10:00.000+10:00

oh dear.
i've done it again.
i'm a bitch. a terrible horrible bitch fromt he depths of hell.
you would not believe how bad i feel. fuck.

2002-05-22T22:50:00.000+10:00

well, after a visit to the doctor, due to my neck. (AGONY) i am back on the net, i still look like a cripple, holding my neck at the oddest of angles, and it still hurts like hell. i was prescribed valium (lol) because apparently it will relax my muscles. hope it starts working soon.

and now, for a vegetable update.
i think i may have underestimated cabbage. i'm sorta seeing a different side to him now. starting to like him a lot more now. :)
broccoli is still giving me the shits. but then they always do.
i think i've lost the tiny amount of respect i had for brussel sprout, but thats okay, i never liked them much anyways
i also have very little respect for onion. no surprise there though.
and eggplant, well they're still an enigma. and i always loved a mystery.

i think i'm done now.
ciao

2002-05-22T18:11:00.000+10:00

mood: pretty good, due to some wonderful retail therapy, although my neck is so sore i can't move it. :(
song: one angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces.
list: nah, too lazy

i wanted to write a long post, but my neck hurts too much, so i'll post later. byes

2002-05-21T21:17:00.000+10:00

bah humbug.
i'm not pissed off. but i would like to say, i'm not a "cling-on" and i haven't "taken sides". leave the psycho-analysing to someone else please.

2002-05-21T18:42:00.000+10:00

mood: bloody brilliant, because i heard some wonderful news, AND i have the next 2 days off!
song: that damn song that mikey always sings. has something to do with dancing.
no audience, no list today.

due to certain circumstances, all people i know shall henceforth be referred to specially assigned code-name. lol. and they're all going to be vegetables. so, figments, look out for some weird looking posts with veggies in them.
ciao!

2002-05-20T22:39:00.000+10:00

mood: tired. pissed off.
song: selfless, cold and composed, ben folds five
audience: none. i write this blog for me, not anyone else
list: reasons why i'm going to fail all my exams
1. i'm stupid
2. i haven't studied.

now thats out of the way.
i'm tired. i'm going to fail. i'm sick of thinking. i'm sick of whinging. jeepers. it's been ages since i posted to this without whining about something. oh well. better i do it on the net than to real people i spose. and i'm sorry if i bore you figments. you must remember it's a diary, not entertainment for you.

oh, and for fuck's sake, no-one has any right to be pissed off at me for what i say in here. go to hell, all of you. :D

2002-05-19T20:12:00.000+10:00

mikey had a good idea, and now i will copy it. henceforth, i shall adhere (mostly ) to thee rules ov thee blogg, as defined below.

all*^ posts should contain:
• thee song ov thee post
• thee mood ov thee post
• thee audience ov thee post
• thee list ov thee post

*it's my blog, so i'm allowed to break the rules.
^(does not apply to supplementary posts)

2002-05-19T19:58:00.000+10:00

understanding is over-rated.
i don't want to understand. if you understand you have to look cold, grim reality in the face. i don't want to do that.
i want to sleep, and not wake up until everything is simple.
grr. i just want to fill this whole window up with depressing comments on how worthless everything is. but i don't have the energy.

i may not trust anymore, but i still care. honest i do. even about the people who don't like me, and aren't really that liked by me. despite what some people think, i don't really hate everyone. i don't really hate anyone actually. but people piss me off. i wouldn't get offended if were one of those people. (actually, i AM one of those people) i get pissed off pretty easily. it doesn't mean much. usually.

i think i'm a very hateable person. a cynical, depressed bitch. a pain in the arse. a drama queen. an idiot. i don't even need to finish the list. it'd take too long anyways. i won't even ask why anyone'd like me. because they wouldn't, they don't.

sometimes there are certain things i wish i could do. things i wish i could say to people. i think i'll make list. (i'm doing a lot of that lately.) here goes:
i wish i could
• give a hug to a certain person who shall remain nameless. (i understand more than you think, and i'm sorry for being a bitch)
• push tom in front of a moving steamroller. lol
• tell richard he's an arrogant twit
• tell my maths teacher to stick the textbook up his arse
and some other things i'll add later. hmmm.

•

2002-05-18T21:30:00.000+10:00

i found the easy solution. they way to avoid people betraying my trust. the way to avoid making a fuckwit of myself. it's rather simple really. i just won't trust people anymore. can't be that hard, right?

now that's ouyt of the way, i can get back to being my usual cheery self. heh. anyways.

oh stuff it. i just couldn't be bothered.

2002-05-17T23:45:00.000+10:00

yell at me
tell me i'm wrong, take his side, don't let me explain.
god, it wasn't even an issue she had to take sides on. and why his? hell, it's not like i'm the one who hurt him. it's not like i'm the one who took out all my frustrations on someone who did nothing.
so, go ahead, defend him, even when i'm not insulting him. make excuses for all the times he hurt me, deliberately.
or better yet, just ignore the fact he hurt me. that works too.
act like i'm the guilty party.
act like he's injured.

i guess i shouldn't have expected anything else

2002-05-17T21:30:00.000+10:00

what would you do? come on figments, you must have an answer. what would you do if you had been lied to by your friends? what would you do if you were wrong in your assessments of people? and what if every insult you'd had thrown at you was true?
well?
and what if you had strong opinions on everything, but they contradicted eachother? what if you were diabolically opposed to yourself? i guess you'd go mad. maybe i have. well at least that's something to tell people. they''l say; "so, what've you been up to lately?" and i can reply with "i lost my mind. have you perchance seen it around?" then i can smile sadly and say, "didn't think so" when the person i'm talking to backs away scared.

i'm going to be an eccentric hermit when i grow up. i'll live on a very isolated island, shun society, and all of the human race. sounds like bliss at the moment.

......

i can't understand how anyone can truly believe anything. but i can't understand how can a person can NOT believe anything. i'm doomed. :) oh well. maybe being doomed isn't so bad after all.

2002-05-17T20:42:00.000+10:00

SCREW IT ALL
people suck. people can kiss my arse. loathe them all. stupid untrustworthy sods.

2002-05-16T20:41:00.000+10:00

*disclaimer* if you know me, and you're reading this, don't get pissed off at me. it's a diary for fuck's sake

song: something by ben folds five. luv that band. listening to it on my SONY minidisc player. (bite me mikey)
mood: that's a tough one. i really don't know. apathy-attempting-to-not-fall-into-the-depths-of-self-pity. that about sums it up i think.
reader (rather than responder): i dunno. but i would like tom to read exeunt. preferably from a cosy seat in hell.

tom is a bastard. a complete and utter fuckwaffle to be exact. his head is so far up his arse it's poking through his shoulder. he can bite me. and go to hell. and assorted other insults.

i think i'm going to stop listening to people. if i hear one more lie, rumour or bitchy comment tonight, i will scream! and/or kill the nearest moron. i am so fucking pissed off! had u noticed, figments? how observent of you.
henceforth i shall have a list of people of suspicious decency. it is as follows;

• luke. those of you who have read mikey's blog would understand that. lying little peehead
• jared. what the fuck is with him? somebody teach that boy some loyalty. and a decent accent
• richard. he's just an arrogant bastard. nuff sed
• tom. duh! (plus he said some nasty things about a good friend.)
• georgia. nyeh. i've expended enough effort on this snobby bitch by typing her name. (although we did get a very good mark on our assessment task.
• brooke. what a skank. a lying skank at that. off with her head!
• an un-named aunt. get a life, honestly.

i think that's all for that list. i'm sure i'll think of more later. now for the list of neither here nor there:

• erin. i'm just not sure at the moment.. it'll sort out in time i think
• deon.
• emily
• jess. (surprisingly)
• chris (also a tad surprising)

that's that list done i think. now for my fave list, the peoples who are good. :D

• mikey. (thanks for putting up with me. :D )
• aaron
• evan
• sam
• kate (i luv u hun!)

there might be more for that list. we'll see. :)

i feel so much better now. amazing how venting my frustraions to a computer keyboard can be so therapuetic. of well, i can't complain. :)
thanks for listening figments!

2002-05-15T21:11:00.000+10:00

grrrrrrrrrrr.
i am so frikkin sick of people who lie, and scheme, and fuck things up. that's all i'm going to say on that topic for now i think.

2002-05-13T21:47:00.000+10:00

i'm going to rip off mikey's blog, and try his funny little rule thing out for size. (just this once though)

song: Groove Armada, my friend. cos i like it, and its what winamp happened to be on
mood: mildly happy, leaning more towards apathy
"responder": no-one really. it is, after all, mostly a diary
game: none. i'm not a freak like mikey. although i guess lemmings, it's the last thing i played.

now that thats over with. :) i don't have a lot to say. *laughs* oh well.
ciao!

2002-05-11T21:37:00.000+10:00

me: hi, how're you?
customer: not too bad, yourself?
me: i'm tired, pissed off, sick of asking people how they are when i dun give a shit, and being underpaid for it all.

i wish.

2002-05-08T21:24:00.000+10:00

today was largely uneventful. big surprise there.
i was going to write all you figments an essay detailing the cultural significance of fish fingers.
i decided against it.
ciao

2002-05-06T21:55:00.000+10:00

stayed home today. slept far too much. still tired. *yawns*
i'm bored and boring today.
ciao figments!

2002-05-05T19:42:00.000+10:00

i hate the fact that people feel obligated to say nice things even if they don't mean them. all praise is therefore empty. fuck it.
today the glass is half empty. in fact, i think it may even be 3/4 empty. all individuals are scum. (and yes, i include myself in that). have i mentioned that people suck?
apologies are empty too. nothing said has any meaning anymore. fuck it all. actions have no meaning either. all is meaningless. bah.

i'm not a pessimist.
really.

2002-05-05T15:50:00.000+10:00

went and saw a movie last night. twas ok. worked at an ungodly hour this morning. dyed my hair. *yawn* does anyone out there have a cure for monotony?

of course, confusion and complications are good cures for boredom i suppose. i've sure had enough of them lately. grrr. people suck.

2002-05-04T00:16:00.000+10:00

okay. maybe i don't hate him. i almost positively don't. i don't know what i feel. :( this is all too confuzzling.

2002-05-03T20:43:00.000+10:00

i couldn't get to sleep until 2am last night. i just couldn't get my brain to switch off. so i played some snake on my phone, swore a lot, and wrote a slightly nasty poem. and then i went to sleep. i hate insomnia. it's the most frustrating thing ever conjured up. and i don't even have to deal with it that often! *grumbles* it still sucks.
oh my, i'm such a whinger. oh who cares. you don't mind, do you figments?

2002-05-02T23:37:00.000+10:00

i think i hate him. in fact i'm pretty sure i do. nearly positive. and i'm completely certain i wish i'd never met him. lying, bitchy, evil bastard. ok, thats my daily bitch over.

2002-04-30T21:28:00.000+10:00

good morrow figments!
now that this stupid thingy is actually working, i can actually post!!!! yay! isn't that exciting! (okay, i know it isn't, but u can all bite me).

hmmm. all i need is something interesting to say. i started back at school today after an all-too-brief holiday. but thats hardly very interesting. in fact it was the opposite. not that that is any different than normal. i really should be working right now, but i'm too frikkin tired. (and lazy) oh well.

i'm sure u ppl have better things to do with ur imaginary lives than read this, so i'll be on my way now.
ciao!

p.s. go read this things will make more sense.

2002-04-28T00:47:00.000+10:00

Wilkommen to my new blog. I don't really feel like writing anything right now, so I'll just leave this as i simple greeting. to read my old blog, visit www.hmf.blogspot.com or something like that.
ciao